LANCE: Ugh, shoulda fuckin’ known you were DL from your Voresky profile. I bet you have a wife and kids, you fuckin’ worm.

[muffled protesting]

LANCE: Don’t gimme that shit! You knew what you were doing! Being DL in this day and age isn’t a survival tactic, it’s cowardice so you don’t get ousted from your political party. ...Yeah, I have a poli-sci degree, cockfood, I’m not just a pretty face.

LANCE: Hey, wanna know what it feels like to break all your limbs at the same time?

[crunch, followed by screaming]

LANCE: Haha, yeah, like that! Only downside is, you can’t squirm as good as you used to. Which means you’re now completely useless. I’d ask if you have any last words, but I don’t give a shit. Later!

[crunch crunch crunch]

LANCE: Worthless down-low piece of trash. Gonna jack you down the drain in the shower later. Lance, from here on out, you only date daddies that are OUT OF THE CLOSET. No more DL snacks. Let’s see here…

LANCE: Ooh, she’s cute! Bet she’d make a good cum stain. Are her DMs open...?

LANCE: Fuckin’ score! And she likes Gundam?! ...shit, she’s a pred, can’t eat her. Following her anyway because taste.

LANCE: Ooh, now HE looks edible... and he’s in town for a con! Tight. Let’s get a second helping.